The true meaning of sports

Sports have always been a huge part of my life.
I have grown up with them, I have grown up on them. They have been the biggest constant in my life for the first 35 years of it.
I loved sports at an early age. Probably the first sport organized sport I played was Tee Ball, but the first sport in my heart has always been basketball.
Between the ages of birth and 10 basketball was my first, and one and only, true love. Sure I spent time playing other sports (baseball, flag football), but it was always basketball first. I wasn't great at the sport (I always had trouble dribbling), but I could always shoot.

Depression is hard

Most of my friends would probably be surprised to know that I get depressed often. Sometimes it gets very bad. Some days are definitely harder than others. Other days are easier. Other days aren't so bad. But those hard days are tough. Those days where I don't want to get out of bed. Those days where I don't want to be around people. Those days where I don't want to talk to anyone. Those days where I don't think anyone believes in me. Those days where I definitely don't believe in myself. Those days where I don't think anyone cares about me. Those days where I think that no one would miss me if I was gone (not dead, just not here). Days can be bad, sometimes nights are worse. It's worse in the winter, that's for sure. When it's cold outside there's nothing more I want to do than be inside, and often that means being alone. Sometimes I feel so alone. Sometimes I feel so alone at work. Sometimes I feel so alone when I'm around other people. Sometimes I get down and can't get myself back up. I think about regrets in my life. I think about things I would've done differently if I could redo them. I tell myself that my best years have passed me by and I think, 'What did I do with my youth?' The answer is usually, 'Not enough.' Sometimes I think about how unfilling my life has been to this point. I think, 'What have I amounted to?' the answer, 'I really don't know.' I think I've done some good, but I know I could've done more. I think about things I've done, 'Maybe I've already reached my peak in life,' I say to myself. It's hard.

Monday musings

My Monday thoughts.

• Mondays suck!
• When should you give up on something? I hold onto things way too long, I just can't seem to move on, or I don't know how. I can't get over things.
• Mondays suck!

Various questions and thoughts

I've got some various questions and thoughts for today.

• When should you give up on your dreams? Is there an age when you should give up on your dreams? 20? 30? Or is there a time-frame? Five years? 10 years?
• There is no greater feeling in life than helping people.
• What should you do when you don't know what to do with the rest of your life?
• What do you do when you feel like you have already reached your peak in life?

I used to love sports

I used to love sports. I used to love to watch them, to read about them and to play them (although I really wasn't very good at much). It only made sense, then, that I went into sportswriting. But what I didn't realize when I got into it that sportswriting would drain my love of sports. Of course at first it was great, going to games and writing about them, but after a while it became like anything else...a job. It no longer was fun. It lost it's appeal to me. That became especially true once I got my dream job. Sports just weren't fun anymore. It took me a little a while that the sports and sportswriting (now this is just me specifically this doesn't hold true to all sports writers) were just my way of hanging onto my youth. I have such a hard time letting go of things in my life and this way definitely one of them. In fact I still have trouble with it. But there are some times when things are clear and I realize what's important in life -- enjoying yourself, being happy, loving, friends and family.

Friday thoughts

I went to my little cousin's (fourth grade) basketball game last weekend, it was great. That's how sports ought to be played - everyone running up and down as fast as they can and having a good time.

Quote of the day: "A mind is a terrible thing to waste."

Thursday thoughts

Here are some of my random thoughts on this day.

• Speak up. No one knows how you feel, or what you are thinking, unless you tell them.
• Don't worry about what other people say about you.
• If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say it at all.
• Take up for yourself, and take up for those who can't take up for themselves.
• Don't give hate life.
• Take time for yourself in life.
• Make good first impressions.
• It's not about what you know, it's who you know, so get to know a lot of people and don't burn any bridges.
• Don't expect things in life to be given to you, you have to earn them.
• Laugh, cry and love every day.